Being A Soul mate!!

We always make benchmarks when it comes to choosing someone as life partner. Some or other, or even all of us feel hassled that this should be or that should be the necessities of a person. Some say he/she should be good looking. Everyone quests for the accomplishment no matter how flawed we are.

Searching a good looking, moderate, decent is always a first wish list on the pages. Boys search even some like the contemporary movie star look a likes and yes, even girls do the same, no matter how we ourselves look. But isn’t that a crucial competition or rather we say a deprivation to our own minds?

If someone selects you over a movie star, how would you feel? Disregarded, disrespected? Isn’t the same we all face? But we never want a denunciation. Well, as the age grows, we look someone alike to us. If we are mediocre, we look for average and same wise. But if we do this kind of thinking from long before may be we won’t be discontented. What do you think?

Now the common question asked to every human who have attained the age of matrimony, that what do you search in your soul-mate? The collective answer found is “Loving, Caring and Understanding”

So do we realize the same as we say?

Loving is not the way who would say “I love you” all the day, all the time. Think for a time will come when you will sigh, or feel exasperated when he/she says “I love you” and then all un-necessary squabbles evolves like “would you stop that?”, “c’mon don’t irritate me with cheesy lines” ,or even it goes like this “do you do the same what you say”. All kind of chaos happens, and finally the “love” dies.

Loving, in my outlook, is something like loving all his/her essentials, hobbies, likings, interests, and most probably his/her state of mind. If he likes to eat biryani, love the way he eats. If she likes to talk about her own viewpoint, love to listen it serenely. Loving each other is loving all about each other. You both have to sacrifice something, that’s not compromise my friends, that’s the way you love him/her.

Then comes the part called Caring. Yes we care people we love. But it’s not necessary that you have to rudely say that. When he likes to have sweets and you know it’s not good for him, you shout at him “stop eating sweets, or u will fall sick”. It’s not care my pals. It’s an un-necessary worry.

Worrying and caring are two flanks of coin. You can exactly worry about his/her health or anything else by not being rude or yelling at him/her. You can do that best by saying “honey, it’s better not to eat sweets now, you would fall sick and I will never like that”. Dealing everything with the gentle word called Care will always save your marital even non-martial relationships. When it comes to caring, it come to the equally relevant word, Compassion.

Compassion is something which can’t be termed by heavy verdicts, but can be assumed with one word called “Being selfless”. Every girl/boy will always seek generosity in her/his life partner. And it is actually true as observed by many relationship analysts. So there if one partner gives his/her selflessness to the other, logically with progression of time, the other reciprocates the same. Then they say the relationship is successful. Practically its very true friends that all relationships have pros and cons. But overcoming it together is what matters at the end of the day.

The last very intriguing aspect is Understanding. There has been a constant disagreement is what really is Understanding each other is all about? Understanding, I believe is something where you put yourself in his/her situation, analyze it and then come to a conclusion, that “he/she needs me, I should be the most supportive”. Supportive and Understanding doesn’t mean commit anything negative and pampering to the part of being spoilt. You should be well aware of what he/she wants, make him/her understand and let him/her not do any crime. Where else, if he/she is in situation of good conducts like helping his/her parents, or something creative, you can go ahead and become his/her support.

It is the main concern, to understand what is in his/her mind. This is all because we need to know each other appropriately to run the conjugal life together. In ancient scriptures, it’s written that a husband and a wife are two wheels of the house, a family, a bond they create. If one wheel goes in one direction and the other goes in some other direction, there we can well understand how the chariot of the life will move ahead. Yes, it will certainly breakdown.

So understanding each other’s mentality is prerequisite and then a quintessence of support is incredibly necessary. It’s not that Rome was built in one night. Same wise, relationships are never fruitful in a day. It will take time to be the most happening one. It will go on rough patches and also on the smooth pavements. All is required the essence of all the three I described above and two vital essentials called Patience and Trust.

Love, Live, Care, Nurture the seed of your relationship, it will always give you sweet fruits. This is very truth of science in our lives.

Sruti

14^th February 2014