Silence is another Name being in True LOVE??

Part-3:

The saga of Love had just about to arise, the long drought has been over, and the wait is over for both Ankita and Abhinav. It seemed the barrage of the love would be broken, the emotions would flow free.

But before Ankita and Abhinav would confess about the love they had, suddenly Ankita got a call from her mother, that her father have got a stroke and is in hospital.

She, forgetting the daze, went into another shudder. The thought of losing someone is very excruciating. And when you know, the loss is reaching, it discomforts a lot.

She hurried to the hospital. But luckily, her father, Mr. Gupta was recovering then, and the doctors have said he could be well in few days. Ankita breathe out with the relief. Abhinav was too there, but the momentary confessions of the souls in love have lost the rhythm, have lost all it flows, but still there lied the seepage of the adoration that was calm and stationary for years.

That night again, Ankita saw her long lost reverie, this time the noble man was revealed as Abhinav and grown-up Disha with him. She happily cuddled her. And then, when she looked at Abhinav, she saw the same eyes with the love and the respect, she once saw. The Noble man was closer than he was before. Before she would feel him with the touch of her hands, suddenly she woke up.

To her sheer amazement, She found her hand been clutched with hands of sleeping Abhinav. She switched on her bed lamp to see her hand was held by Abhinav, and there was smile in his face, a smile she yearned to see, a smile which made her feel triumphant for Abhinav, like he got his happiness back after a very long time.

Ankita didn’t strained to withdraw her hand from his grip, as she too never felt this gratification before. She slept rest of night, with joy and the serenity. Somewhere she got the answer although not from Abhinav’s words, but from the involuntary gesture that happened this night.

And this blissful actions happened all following nights thereafter. Ankita never wanted to question any more, of what this was. Abhinav too didn’t have the courage to speak. But It seemed like the gust of affection prevailed, although felt but not heard of.

In few days, the exchanges of glances, the comfort in discomforts grew, the untamed smiles were exchanged. Disha and others relatives noticed the same. Ankita had left her company job by now, as she wanted to be a full-fledged mother for Disha, being her protective shade for long. To astonishment, Disha never complained.

She in fact revealed that her Ma is her best friend, to her college buddies. The magnitude of her obedience made her successful in every examinations. She excelled in many fields of her interest. She always had benedictions of both mothers she belonged to.

In these days, Disha was furtively planning of something in the coming Valentine’s Day, as if she wanted to surprise her parents with her new attention .And unexpectedly she sought after many novels especially the love stories of the times.

One day, Disha came up to her mother and said,

“Ma, in few days, there is Valentine’s Day, So, I have something to tell you.”

Ankita grew curious, as at this age girls do often get into relationships and most of times with the wrong ones.

So Ankita interrogated in tensed voice,

“You have a boyfriend, and you want to go out with him on that day?”

Disha crinkled her lips, thinking

“How come Ma knew I was about to say that?”

She replied with hassled tone,

“Ye-yes Ma, please let me go.”

Ankita replied,

“I will allow you only when I and your father meet him”

Disha was overly excited as if her plan worked. She hugged her Ma and said in thrilled tone,

“Sure Ma, do meet him some day, Shall I book a table in our favorite restaurant? You meet him, ask him any questions you want. And if you find him suitable for me, then please allow us to have good time in Valentine’s Day, I promise nothing will be out of line.”

Ankita said,

“Its fine, Disha but before that ask your Dad. It’s very crucial decision. “

“Ok Ma” Disha hastily answered and went off.

Ankita was tensed, not how come her daughter is in relationship, but will she able to get all she dreamt of. Being a mother, she wouldn’t understand how to recommend her for this is quite delicate issues, as she too have underwent such commotions in life.

Meanwhile Disha went to her father and asked the same.

Luckily, Abhinav too wanted to meet Disha’s new found association.

So Disha fixed-up a meeting over a dinner on 13^th of Feb, thinking that she can have a beautiful day after with her new found love.

The night of 13^th Feb arrived. All fretful. Disha reached with her parents. Ankita and Abhinav were equally edgy as they can see and feel the same in their daughter’s face.

They got seated at their booked table. Awaiting a new person in Disha’s life, Abhinav and Ankita were looking at each other, like enquiring each other,

“How will be he? How to start? What to say”.

But then Disha asked casually for starters and dinner, as if no one else has to arrive, Ankita asked her to wait for the person. 

But Disha smiled and said very serenely.

“No one is going to come. Ma”

Both Abhinav and Ankita were more stunned, to which Disha started saying,

“Ma, Dad this was the only way I could make you come together, I know you never had the circumstance to talk to each other.., about each other. This is the time you both recognize and make realize to each other what’s in your heart”

Abhinav and Ankita are still flabbergasted that how can their young daughter said everything effortlessly, where they didn’t find the valor to confess their love for each other.

Disha added,

“It’s would be nice if I leave for the dinner, as my friends are here. I will move back to home with them now for I have group study to make for coming exams”.

After Disha moved out, there was an unseen discomfort to which Ankita stood to move out too, but to utter perplexity, Abhinav detained her by clutching her hand gently.

“Ankita, can you please stay?”

This touch, these words, were as if novel to her, as if the bud of her life is being to blossom.

She stopped and silently sat, with a little confusion mixed with some unknown contentment.

Abhinav started to speak,

“I don’t know what to say. It’s been sixteen years, and too long. I know. But I was confused. I didn’t knew what to say and how to say. I thought I could do injustice to both of you… I am sorry, I had made you to  ...”

Ankita interjected.

“You didn’t made me do anything accordingly. I did with my satisfaction. You don’t have to be guilty for anything, for me. Abhinav, I am really fine and happy in this marriage.”

Abhinav took Ankita’s hands and continued.

“I don’t know how to say you thank you, for you did everything exceptional. I can only be apologetic, I couldn’t been the life partner you always thought to have”

Ankita was shell-shocked again and said.

“How did you know what I have dreamt of my life partner to be?”

Abhinav replied,

“One day you muttered my name in the sleep, had caught hold of my hand, that day somehow I understood what you have for me, before you would wake up, I closed my eyes, so that you won’t let your hands off, and if make you let know nothing about this, I hold your hand”

Abhinav added.

“I know Ankita what you have for me, because I too feel the same way...”

Both sat there pleased and accepting, that yes, their love has triumphed, acknowledged and finally their love has instigated.

It’s not required to actually say “I love you” to confess your own feelings for the person. Your right person, the One made for you will cognize it any way you do or say, and even your quietness can say it all. The eyes will only deceit you with feeling that other person won’t fathom your emotion,  but it often says it all to your true love.

It’s, at all times, and said when it’s true it triumphs…. Be in love, make it True!! J J

~Sruti

Wednesday, July 02, 2014

Silence is another Name being in True LOVE??

Part-2

The Day of matrimony came.

With very less demeanor, the wedding took place. All the relatives, nearest kith and kin, friends were invited. They felt gratified for Ankita transforming from a bride to a mother in a day. They were pleased that Abhinav is no longer disheartened with the loss of his wife, Trishna.

Ankita was calm to some extent to her love for a child, was rewarded, although it wasn’t from her. Disha unknown of her biological mother, was slumbering favorably in the arms of Ankita.

Usually the wedding nights are the blissful and the best night of the brides and bridegroom. But this was different. Although, Abhinav and Ankita respected each other for being each other’s confidante of life, but the love was missing. Rather I would say it was latent. Concealed in the corners of the heart of two reserved persons.

Ankita didn’t have to envisage any more how she can lead a life with someone who doesn’t express their emotional state, where the emotions had organized the flow, fashioned a dam over the brook of emotions and have been quieter.

But how long can this barrier stop the riverine? Days? Weeks? Months??Or Years??

Someday this barrage was meant to be broken. Not by own self, but the person who is loved so tenderly yet so wordlessly by the heart.

Disha was unconditionally loved by Ankita. All the maternal love had been dispensed into her by Ankita. Ankita knew she will be only mother to Disha. But she never asked or even expected for anything from Abhinav.

Both had been living a life of remarkable couple, not like love birds but as a reticent yet matured and responsible family people. They balanced work and family life very well. No one from their parents even expected to have another child. The rest was unidentified.

Don’t be sad my readers, Love is so powerful that it doesn’t know any barriers. If the field is fertile and the circumstances are suitable, the crops would harvest in superlative way. We already know the meadow of Abhinav and Ankita’s heart is still bountiful with all perfect emotions. All we need is the exact time.

Abhinav although had never discussed about his feelings, somewhere his respect for Ankita had developed to next level. He cared for her. He even never questioned on Ankita’s decisions for Disha. For the reason, Abhinav had enough faith on Ankita. But gradually, he felt he was being unjust for Ankita. He thought that she left all her dreams, all her hopes for her husband, she agreed to marry him. Justifying the role of a wife and a mother. She isn’t questioning her stature in his eyes. 

He felt guilty, thinking

“Did I spoil her life, by making her mother of my child? Am I being selfish? I loved Trishna, and I know she is happy in the heavens that apple of her eye, is well nurtured by Ankita. But,will she allow me to live once more? Will I justify Trishna‘s love if I give the same share to Ankita? “

With these every day questions, he was tormented of to whom the justice is denied and to whom should it be provided?

Ankita started sensing the turmoil in Abhinav’s mind. She thought to ask him. But something stopped her.  The silence, the distance was too much for both of them to talk over about themselves. Being in three years of marriage, the discussions was only for Disha, day to day and work. Nothing more.

This rift always caused the thoughts to stop at some point when it came to talk about themselves. It was not like Ankita didn’t think of herself. She sometimes questioned the dream she saw. The dream of the nobleman with child. Although the first part came true, what about the second part?

“The love, the moisture in his eyes, the want for me. Only me, was that only what I always dreamt of, I wanted”.

She would never able to question herself more as she was all busy with Disha, household and the office work. The nights were only time, where she just looks over her sleeping husband, with numerous questions unanswered, yet the tranquility prevailed.

Life and age is running out, so running her own dreams out of herself. But then she stopped thinking. Because she knew it would be only the barrier between her motherly love and her duties as Mrs. Abhinav Dikshit.

Sixteen years of marriage had been passed. And Disha was grown into a young enthusiastic adult. Unlike other youth of her age, she was very obedient, studious and a beautiful adolescent. Undoubtedly she looked more like Ankita then her birth mother.

Her contemplations, her philosophies reflected the best teachings a mother can give to her child. Although Disha knew by this time that, Ankita is not her birth mother, but she respected her as own. She understood her Ma had sacrificed all a girl dreams of, with zero expectations from her Dad. She decided to do something for her parents.

One day, Disha asked Ankita,

“Ma, what is love?”

Ankita happy to see her daughter’s curiosity, just answered,

“A feeling very divine, yet unseen”

Another day again she asked her dad,

“Ma says love is unseen and divine, do you have the same notion like her?”

Abhinav pleased with Disha’s curiosity and well taught by Ankita says

“Off course your Ma is right”

Suddenly out of nowhere, Disha asked again

“So you have the same feeling for Ma?”

Abhinav casually but unknowingly answered

“Yeah”

At the same time Ankita, hearing this stood motionless, shocked. She didn’t understand what to feel.

Abhinav realized what he said, and before he would react, he saw Ankita standing there speechless and astounded. He understood what he just said and Disha smiled and went away giving this space of newly revealed confession with no intentions.

Abhinav didn’t know what to say and Ankita didn’t understand what to react on. They stood looking at each other, like never before. 16 years have passed they never hold any chance, either with any intent to look at each other this way. Although their soul knew that they have grown from just respecting each other to loving each so much selflessly.

They both never believed of questioning each other’s sentiment because they never sought to hurt each other in way. Such was the extent. Yet they never conveyed their feelings to each other.

It felt like all the reveries Ankita saw have come true on one side. But the question with which Ankita has been thinking about is rebuking all the emotions which wants to flow.

“Abhinav unknowingly said this, which doesn’t mean he actually loves me? Does he love me?”

In those moments of hundreds questions between Abhinav and Ankita, they just looked on to each other. And the saga of love essentially instigated...

To be continued…

Silence is another Name being in True LOVE??

Part-1 

Ankita never had any indication how we can lead a life with someone who doesn't express their emotional state. She was in this utter “Fairy tale” of being with a prince charming. She always imagined that her prince would come and take her away to this faraway beautiful place where every dream becomes true, every face has a smile and there is never-ending happiness. Who knew this far off land can be somewhere in the heart of the person she would marry… it’s just the Fate that has to elect.

Gradually as she traversed the life by, from high school to graduation, this fairy tale dream of her, was fading away. The reason was quite detestable and obvious looking at nature of people around. The jovial Ankita become a lonesome lass in the field where she was not able to distinguish the real good and to-be-said-good.

Like any other today’s cohort, she went into relationship with idea of living in the present and just in an idea of being in love!! Someplace she released the thought of her prince charming. She was just happy with Aniket. Aniket was also a mediocre boyfriend any one can say. They had differences but still chalked out and went on.

There was nothing called sparks of love! It was just a good healthy bond. Until when both worked in different companies, Things started to alter. It’s always said when situation changes, the course of life too makes a detour. Thus happened what should not have happened. Problems went bad to worst. Both were not able to endure each other. May be because both were too much gripped in work or one of them had too much ego to let the other go. Ankita never figured out what went wrong and may be Aniket never thought to chalk out.

Some said she was involved to her boss, Mr. Dikshit. Abhinav Dikshit. He was a gentleman of the order. Sound and sober. A reticent man he was. Perfect as a trailblazer can be. But wretched with his life, he was left with his 2yr old daughter, Disha.

Now my readers might think, there must be some concealed fascination between Abhinav and Ankita. But apologies to my questioners, there was nothing more than a work-balance relationship with a lead and his subservient. Ankita has transformed herself from thinking of what relationship and love is. The delusion of her prince charming has completely perished. She was only looking means to endeavor in her deserted life.

As customary, Indian parents start thinking of their daughter’s matrimonial. Too many advertisements, intermediaries, and off course today’s use of matrimonial sites. But seems, Ankita didn’t have a good fortune to have someone in her life as a life partner. Again, Soul mate was just a notion of olden times. Many a time’s good proposals were off-hand, and the worst ones were kicked out. Ankita’s parents were in bad shape to marry-off their only daughter.

It was not like Ankita was from a lowly household. Mr. and Mrs. Gupta, Ankita’s parents were well settled Medical specialists of the town. They even asked Ankita, if she has chosen someone, anyone. But as always, the answer was no. Ankita had progressively clogged the thought of being in marriage. Instead she wanted to adopt, like the trend in the unmarried elite women in the B-town does. But for the mediocre middle class family didn’t have such notions although respected her.

Then came that exceptional day, that day for some unknown reason, Ankita had a dream. A dream forgotten had come alive. She dreamt of a nobleman with a small kid in his hand asking her to the child’s mother. The eyes of the gentleman glistened the love and the respect, Ankita long lost the hope of. But why with a child? Suddenly she woke up surprised, startled and shaken to core. She wouldn’t stop thinking, why she has to see this dream. Her lost prince with a child of his own? May be her thought of adoption had taken the shape of her lost dream. Who knew this is what really going to happen?

Neena Auntie, Ankita’s maternal aunt had given a proposal to Mrs. Gupta for Ankita’s marriage. He was a widower with 2 years old child.

 Mrs. Gupta retorted saying,

“It’s not what we want for Ankita, Neena.  How can you think Ankita getting married to a widower?”

Neena auntie knew Ankita is already 32, unmarried woman, where all her younger cousins have settled, some with children. Neena auntie never had a child of her own, so she prized Ankita like her kin.

Mrs. Gupta again asked,

“You too love Ankita like your own child. Then how you can bring such”.

With this Mrs. Gupta started crying.

Neena auntie consoled her saying

“I know, Didi. But Ankita is getting old. She is getting lonely day-by-day, Can’t you see that?”

She added

“She wants to adopt a child, Didi. What will our society say?”

Mrs. Gupta was getting old and fragile with heavy Diabetes. She frantically wanted Ankita to get married. So, she consoled herself and waited for Mr. Gupta to get back from the medical seminar at Delhi. When he was back, she told him about this proposal that Neena auntie gave. To her surprise, instead of getting livid like she did, he, although with heavy heart, asked for more details.

Mrs. Gupta asked her husband

“Are you okay with this proposal?”

He nodded his head. Somewhere his heart and mind was saying this is impeccable although it didn’t seemed to be. 

Mr. Gupta said her,

 “Let us first ask Ankita on this”.

Ankita, on hearing this, neither revolted nor affirmed. She just nodded to just one sentence.

“What’s his name? “

“Abhinav Dikshit”.

Suddenly she raised up her head. Again shaken, remembering the dream she saw recently.

She asked for more details and found it was him, the noble man, her lead, her boss. This was unimaginable.

She wouldn’t say yes as it was not expected, more-ever he has a child. But she even wouldn’t say no, as somewhere she adored him as a rarest person who is best in every aspect she saw in him.

Ankita just asked,

“Did he knows this?”

The answer came was yes. And that too by Neena Auntie. She just came in. To her most astonishment, Ankita would find nothing to answer on.

Neena auntie added,

“Abhinav parents and Abhinav wants to meet you soon, if you agree on this”.

To this Ankita suddenly replied,

“Wait, Neena auntie. Let me talk to Abhinav ji first. If you allow me to do so?”

Everyone present just nodded in affirmation. They knew both Abhinav and Ankita are matured and responsible.

Ankita went to office that day. She wanted to talk to Abhinav on this. The desperation to know why and the desires and the denials were both cropping in the same place. She didn't know what to say, how to say and even when to say. She wouldn't even understand how she can even invite him over to talk over on this.

After huge retrospection and anticipations, she thought to drop him a mail, although she had his private number to talk on. Ankita was in state where she never thought she would be. It was neither can be explainable. She was like on being middle of the bridge, where both ends are unknown.

She wrote:

“Hi Abhinav,

Can we meet for some time at café?

Thanks,
Ankita Gupta”

She read it many times before hitting the send button. But surprisingly, Abhinav was at her desk, silently reading the email drafted and her confused behavior. After few mins, he coughed marking his presence. She was almost shocked and turned.

Abhinav answered to what even she didn’t ask him directly.

“Let’s go for a coffee”.

It was usual for others to think as they have the work discussions on the coffee table. No one bothered to think if this is topic of the day unlike those other days.

The body language, the nonverbal communication was more. There was comfort and discomfort at the same time.

Suddenly, before Ankita would ask, Abhinav said

“Do you agree over this?”

She was amazed, what would she say. If No, would clearly make a negative impression her being overambitious and if yes, it would equally make him feel as if she is anxious or she fascinated him. But she shifted that attention asked about Disha which was usual. Ankita always after a discussion asks about Disha, to which Abhinav happily answers.

But today, he answered,

“Disha is asking for a  mother in few days. And let me keep this straight. Please answer me yes/no?

Then In sudden matter of chance, Ankita replied,

“And you? Do you want to marry again?”

Abhinav just nodded yes and his heart have said him this long before that Disha can have best mother in Ankita.

He just said

“Please answer me, if you are interested or not?”

It was direct isn’t it my readers?

Ankita wouldn’t answer properly.

Abhinav said

“Don’t be afraid, just don’t think me as your boss, just think as a prospective “

Ankita would just say

“Yes”.

After that day, when both the parents met, it was decided. The marriage is in shortly 3 months. They wanted to keep it short and simple. This was equal request from both Abhinav and Ankita. They didn’t want this to be pomp and show. As for them Marriage was just a bond paper to be said together.

The intentions was more sublime and deeper than a commoner can think of.

Days and after, the preparations were gradually went on. All assessments for marriage was done. Abhinav and Ankita were about to be in the nuptial bonds in less than 3 months.

In these preparations, Abhinav and Ankita had no much discussions after that intense over-the-coffee table meeting. Everyone in the office came to know after the engagement was over. Although the laugh, the jest would take place. But here there was hushed up discussions of when, how and why?

Some supported saying it’s so nice of Ankita to accept such prospect, and some with obnoxious thought of illicit affairs taking up the shape of wedding.

It’s always seen that the goodness of love, the tranquility and the purity is known to the lesser mass when it was accepted or revealed in true form. There is no pure love or I should say a pure feeling when we ourselves don’t put our soul into it.

It’s always unseen, unspoken like the wind. Love is like the breeze, present, felt but invisible to eye.

Abhinav and Ankita had same which was unseen to them. If they tried to feel, there was hundreds other distractions that retracted between them, the sense of completing each other was incomplete and distance prevailed.

And the day of marriage came. 

to be continued...